"Stay Classy San Diego"

After much probing over the weekend (man, I'm sore!), j/k, it was revealed that Keith's idea of a birthday celebration would include being wined and dined. I immediately thought of a bumper sticker we saw years and years ago...which made me think of a another bumper sticker on the same car:

Let's just say that the owners of that car were classy. So, the karaoke idea was scrapped. It's no longer a surprise, either. We are now having a nice dinner and then drinks at a bar. A bar at a hotel. A hotel that we have a room booked at. Need I say more? We will be closing that bar down. His Mom got the room reserved and my Mom is staying the night with the kids. It's the best idea. Ever.

I presented Keith with his gift of collected entries yesterday morning. Did I cry? You betcha. Maybe it was because he's such a wonderful person and that every wonderful person should know how much they mean to others. Maybe it was because he's made me so proud and so happy all these years that I can't imagine him not knowing how priceless he is. Or, maybe it was because I went to the mall last week to pick out a cologne, but couldn't smell a turd in a diaper, therefore I had to leave empty-handed. I can't pick out something I can't smell and I wasn't about to buy one that the sweet Grandma type sales lady considered to be "popular with the young kids", just to bring it back the next week.

We spent his birthday quietly. Kale and I baked him a cake, we ordered from his favorite pizza pie place and looked at custom homes on the way home. We can dream, can't we? It's how Keith stays hungry.

***

Denise Richards has a show. Really? Yes. And it's 100% garbage. I don't watch it, but I've seen a tidbit here and there. Must go to Hollywood where they hand out reality shows like teriyaki chicken samples in the mall food court. I wouldn't do one, but if I did, yesterday's show would've been called "It's Shitty". Day one of feeling remotely back to normal, I bust out the slip-n-slide and baby pool in backyard. Gratuitously lather kids and myself with SPF 2,350 sunblock. Change into bathing suits and swim diaper for Mack. Bring Ipod and speakers, cell phone, home phone, towels, blanket, bath toys and extra sunblock out back. Kids are in pool playing. Slip-n-slide is up and running and looks inviting. The new Weezer is blaring and I've just laid down to take in some sun and relax. Child #2 stands and lets out loud stamp of disapproval and motions to escape from pool. After several attempts of coaxing from the sidelines, I grumpily get up to see what's the matter. As I approach the pool I see cloudy water with chunks of poo and corn floating about. OH MY GOD! ABORT! ABORT! I rip Kale from infested water and immediately flip pool. Rinse out pool, rinse off toys (let them bake in 1000 degree sun), rip off crapped diaper and hose off child. Start over.