Calm, Cool, and Collected

I've got time to post! Whoa! Yea! So, let's see...

We voted this morning and it was sweet relief. It was almost as if we'd been working on a long assignment and finally got to turn it in for a grade. We are totally getting drunk tonight! lol. You have until Oct. 31 to vote early. I never posted anything about Sarah Palin and well, I assumed it was McCain's way of throwing in the towel b/c hell, what'd he have to lose? It gave his campaign the boost it needed. Palin supporters were so proud to have someone ruffling the Democrats feathers. Uh, yeah, people were getting worked up because the woman was a complete idiot. Her nomination was laughable, but I couldn't believe how many folks drank that kool-aid. I bought a bumper sticker that read "Sarah Palin: because John McCain thinks you're an idiot". I never put it on my car because I value my paint job, this is a red state folks. Frankly, I think the Vice President (potential President) should be smarter than the majority of America, but who cares what I think. At least the rest of America has a brain, Texas. All of that "I'm just a regular gal, not a politician" bullshit...go sell crazy somewhere else biatch, we're all stocked up here! Tina Fey was a god-send. I hope this is the last we'll ever see of Sarah Palin, but something tells me we won't be so lucky.

***

We recently spent the anniversary of my Grandfather's passing fishing in Port Lavaca. My Grandfather often brought us out there for fishing expeditions. They are great memories. We all miss him dearly, but as time passes, the tears don't fall as quickly as they use to. Of course, I cry. I cry hard hunched over from the hole in my heart. Asking for anything back. Anytime. I'll even take the visits in the hospital to relive. Even knowing the outcome, I'll start all over again just to be there with him to hold his hands and pray for help and to talk to him. I am thankful everyday that Kale and I spoke to him that day. I can't say I've found my way to complete healing, but I know if I continue to do the work, I'll get closer and closer. I'm still deciphering the how's and why's and trying to build a new working faith.

We went to the library (a different library than our usual one b/c it sustained damage from the hurricane and has yet to re-open) one evening last week. And, after we picked out some new reading material for Kale, I went to the other side to look for myself. I often check the new arrivals. Since it was the week leading up to the anniversary, I was kind of in a funk and dealing with all those raw feelings again. Sitting on the shelf was a small book called "Stories from the Edge- A Theology of Grief". I'm only half way through it right now, but it really is clarifying some things for me and has turned into be exactly what I needed. Someone put that book there for me right there, right then. When I woke up Sunday morning, I laid in bed thinking about what I wanted to say at the cemetery. I thought of the a verse my Grandfather always said, but couldn't remember how it went. We got packed up and headed out to Victoria. On the way there, I read a couple of more chapters. And, within my reading, was the exact passage I was trying to remember earlier that day

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven

and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything

you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.

Matt. 18:18-20

When I found it, I immediately cried because I felt close to my Grandfather. I felt a sense of peace about where my Grandfather went. He always reiterated this sense of calmness to me and it came across in that passage as soon as I read it. I could write more and more of his love for the Lord, but I'm certain he is with his ultimate creator and I wouldn't wish anything less for him.

School is 5 days a week, WTF?

School days are tiring. Really, I'm so thankful he only goes two days a week. I don't think I could handle anymore, right now. There are so many things to remember (i.e. paperwork, deadlines, book orders, food/fundraiser orders, fundraiser sponsorships, volunteering...argh...I know I've written about it before). I forgot to pack Kale a drink in his lunch box. I was trying to get out extra early this a.m. to drive-thru Starbucks for a Horizon Vanilla milk or a McDonald's for apple juice. No such luck. Luckily, his teacher keeps extras on hand and told me not to worry about it. Plus, as we pulled up to school, I saw a Mom lathering her child in Off repellant and remembered he needed some. I looked for it in two places this morning, but couldn't find it, and then I got distracted by something else.

It could've been when I was heaving Mack into his carseat and realized he'd pooped. Why do they do that? And, when you're running late, no less! I changed his diaper right there in the garage on the dining table, which is in the garage, because we're having new floors installed...which also means we haven't had satellite T.V., DVR recorded programs, or a couch to sit on since Monday morning. The horror! (***I promise to thoroughly disinfect that table when we move it back in :-) BTW, Thanksgiving is at our house...ha, j/k.)

So, off to school he went, where he would inevidably die of thirst and be eaten alive by blood sucking insects, but at least he was on time. Way to go, Mom!

After I drop him off, Mack and I take off to the grocery store to pick up some juice boxes, because the next school day will be here before you know it. I get some fruit, cheese, some snacks, 2 different kinds of beer and Blue Bell Rocky Road. Then, we rush home because either Keith or I need to be home for the guys to finish the floor. Get home and find out floors cannot be finished today because the leveling solution didn't dry enough AND I forgot to buy juice. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!! Get back into car to pick up Kale from school. Curse all the idiots on the road. Sit in carpool line. Mack gets restless and starts to fuss. Keith reaches in bag to pull out something for Mack to snack on while we wait, leans over and says "you know you had a juice box in the backpack, right?" Don't even, man.

On top of that, one of the bottles in the 6-pack that I bought, was completely empty. I know! What are the odds? The bottom was completely cracked open, so I guess it leaked onto the shelf at the store. We went back and exchanged it.

Yet, I know I have no real complaints. I'll slap myself. Even though school has come with a lot of requirements, I have met a lot of people and had a great time at a birthday party with Kale this weekend. Screw you carwash girl, I didn't want to be your friend anyway!

Fall-ing behind

I apologize for not posting for so long. I'm sure there were things to write about, but I just never took the time. There was a hurricane, KD jr. started school, and things have just been a whole lotta hectic. What I should post about tonight is the economy. But, that'll make my head hurt and we're busy lifting the mattress to hide our stash anyway. So...

The hurricane was worse than expected and caught a lot of people off guard. I suppose it's because we often experience false alarms. The devastation in Galveston and nearby cities was unbelievable. Houston completely shut down and gas was hard to come by. It was really a strange situation the first few days after the storm. We had gathered the necessary supplies (for the most part), were only out of electricity for 12 hours, and didn't sustain any damage on our home...Thank God. And yet, there are a lot of people still without power and some without a home and I can't imagine how hard that must be. We have nothing to complain about and everything to be grateful for. Here's to hoping that doesn't happen for another 25 years.

KD jr. starting school has been great, but totally a lot of work. We've already started two fundraisers and a book fair. Phew! It's like a whirlwind of paperwork, deadlines, sign ups, volunteering, donating, lunch making and show and tell gathering. My goodness...and this is just the beginning! My daily planner needs a daily planner.

Also on the frontier is new music! Yea!! Currently, thanks to Keith, we are bangin' our heads to Kate Nash, Santogold- L.E.S. Artistes, Kings of Leon and Adele. Now we just need that great weather to come back.

HOT! HOT! HOT!

Here's something to keep you warm on those chilly Fall nights (nights that I am anxiously awaiting). Ahhhh...a brisk wind with a little bite as you make your way to your parked car wearing a cute sweater, killer jeans and some bitchin' new high heeled boots (ankle or calf). I love the Fall!!!

The ongoing theme of all my autumns is love. It's something about the cold that makes you want to cuddle with the one you love.

My husband hasn't written a song for me in a long time. Oh, I don't know...with work, a wife and kids...I just don't understand why he doesn't have the time. Kidding. I casually mentioned this to him a couple of weeks ago while he was playing his guitar, jokingly, of course. And then the other day, while we were on the phone, he said that the new single from Kings of Leon "Sex on Fire" is his dedicated song to me. (Gush) So, here it is. Brace yourselves, it's mucho caliente...just like us. The band is coming to Houston in October. We may need to be doused with a fire extinguisher when they play this song.

Autumn Leaves

We saw a man getting beaten up at the corner of an intersection in Southeast Houston this morning...it was 9:03 a.m. Luckily, Kale couldn't see. The guy getting beaten up seemed to be drunk and could barely stand, much less fight back. The guy doing the beating up was, for the most part, uncoordinated as well and got just a few punches in, but tore the guy's shirt and kicked him in his rear unsteadily. Afterwards, the aggressor walked off and crossed the street. And, all of us bystanders just sat there in shock. Like, what the hell is going on? I imagine (and hope) if one of them pulled a gun or really was getting the best of the other guy, someone would've called the police, but it seemed like a drunken girl fight. It just happened so fast and even while you're watching it, you're trying to process what exactly you're seeing. Is this for real? Meanwhile, the other dude leaned up against a wall, caught his breath, gathered his thoughts, then walked off in the other direction. Our light turned green and we drove off. Weird. Can you imagine if that's how your day started? I can only hope the day got better for them.

Another weird story. We were at a school playground last weekend in Sugar Land, when we see several cop cars and emergency vehicles speed past. Soon after the cops return and block off the parking lot where our truck is parked. We stop to see what's happening. Then, we see Life Flight circling above our heads. Yup, Life Flight landed a few hundred feet away from us, right behind our truck. Kale was yelling and pointing "That's mah truck...that's mah truck!" beckoning us to DO SOMETHING. All the trees swayed and leaned in one direction. Dust, leaves, and debris flew all around. It was a sight to see. But, it was also sad to know that someone was in need of such desperate help. After the patient was loaded, we sat silently while the helicopter lifted into the air and said a prayer. For we know the feeling of desperation all too well.

It's so easy to be consumed in your own haves and have nots, but in the realm of life, it's not important. What matters most is that you love and allow yourself to be loved and to be happy. My Grandfather was the definition of love in its' purest form. Unconditional. Unrelenting. Inspirational. I still feel like it wasn't his time. Like something went terribly wrong and I'm stuck here re-reading the directions over and over again. I can let go. But, I don't want to. My Grandfather would often stop me in my tracks, when I looked like my mind was elsewhere, and say "You know, I feel like God is really going to bless us. I can just feel it. You watch." and I would say "Yeah, you know...I think you're right, Popo". And, I do.

Shifting gears

Phew, I finally have a chance to update the ol' bloggy blog. We went to the library on Monday and I found myself a couple of good reads. I am trying to squeeze reading those into my crazy days and then wouldn't ya know, my subscription to Glamour starts. I got one of them in the mail yesterday. It's official. Free time: None found. When I opened our mailbox and saw the magazine, I was thrilled. Keith was standing at the end of the driveway looking down towards the mailbox. And there I was, motioning to him with my arms, in sheer delight. "Look! I'm a girl, again!!", I said. He responded with something along the lines of 'yeah...the last time I checked'. Dirty bird. The magazine is nothing spectacular, but I've been getting Better Homes and Gardens and Parents. And, nothing is wrong with that either...if you're taking Centrum Silver and drive a mini-van (no offense!).

In fact, one of my dreams is to be able to flip through a Better Homes and Gardens and point at one home and say that's the one. That's the home of my dreams (which is in every issue) and then it magically appears for me to live in. Those BHG homes make my eyes roll back into my head. All clean and crisp and 'California coastal' decorated. Keith and I would study these homes in our "offices" separately and then storm out with the magazine opened, yelling in an accusatory tone. "Look at this! Just fucking look at this!" throwing the mag in front of the unsuspecting partner who was blissfully lapping up freshly melted ice cream. "What, What?". Looks down at pictures. "Omg! What kind of shit is that? That's effing ridiculous. Who does that? Argh!!!!! It just makes me sick, really.........I absolutely love it". Please toss that magazine into the oven.

So, now that we're not being tortured by BHG and Parents, because, really, how much more can I read about the harmful effects of vaccines (and be scared shitless) or how to keep the romance alive with your husband. (Duh. It's called alcohol and low budget porn...I kid, I kid!) Now, with this new subscription to this new magazine with new articles I'll get the body I've always wanted (woohoo. it's in the magazine people, all I have to do is open it and I am gonna look so good...immediately), I'll know how to handle anything naked and I'll know the 8 things my man craves in bed (I had no idea there were 7 more...clear my schedule). I'm gonna be the best me in the whole world. Or, maybe I'll just find a different way to pluck my nose hairs. Either way, my inner college girl appreciates it.

***

It's that time of year again. The time where I want to get focused. I want to have a plan. I want to have a timeline and work towards something. As if raising children and running a life isn't enough busy work for me. Somebody slap me. I do it every year, maybe one of these years it will stick. I feel like I should be socking away at something. This is me. I want something to be proud of for myself. I want to create, invent, restore, invest, learn, digest...but not be stressed. and, oh yeah, be able to remain a stay-at-home Mom. I know. I'm outta my mind.

Like, what if, God forbid, something happened to Keith, I would need to find a job to provide for my family. And, what about when the kids are in school and I'm at home? It'd be nice to make some money and be fulfilled with a career that makes me happy...but still be able to be in the carpool lane to pick up my kiddos, because I want that, too.

I called UH today to see if my transcripts are on file. Yup, they still are. I submitted an application, again...all I need to do is send in the application money. I did this the exact same thing 2 years ago. I get this far and then I let it set in. And when it comes down to it, I think I like the fact that, in an instant, I could change my whole world and do something challenging. I want to prove to myself that I could do it. But, am I willing to give up my current lifestyle for it? In short, no. I know the payoff would be great...yet, why mess up a good thing? I guess I'm chickening out. I like my free time with the kids and Keith, is that wrong? And maybe that means I'm saying no to a career, too. I don't know if I'm okay with that yet, either. Well, if I feel the same way in two years, I can always pay the application fee then.

Maybe, I'll get a puppy...now you can really slap me.

Stuffed Animals

Howdy ho! We got up and out the door extra early this morning to meet up with my Aunt and her kids at my Grandmother's house for a garage sale she was having. Who knew Thursdays were big traffic days for garage sale hoppers, but apparently so. I have come to the conclusion that trying to get yourself and two kids ready to be somewhere is the equivalent to planning a wedding for 200+ guests in 3 days. It can kick my ass. I guess I'm just ill-prepared. If only I would follow my Grandmother's advice and start gettting ready the minute one foot hits the floor. When my Grandmother is in town, and let's say we have to be somewhere at 10 a.m. collectively, she'll instruct me to give her the boys clothes and she'll dress them. At 7:08 a.m. Maybe she's fuckin' right.

I think I have the time, and then, it's like 'holy shit, holy shit, holy shit'. And, really, my boys were being totally cooperative this morning, so I don't know what I'm complaining about. Well... it would be great if they just read books quietly in a corner while I got everything ready, but that's never going to happen. They are usually swinging golf clubs around or taking buckets of toys and sprinkling them around the house after I just picked up for the 28th time that morning. Aaaahh! It's just so many things to remember and let's face it, women take awhile to get ready, poor boys. I feel like there's a huge egg-timer in the house (tick tock tick tock tick tock...work faster biatch) and I better be in the car with tires rolling between 9:30-10 a.m. or I will have HELL to pay...meaning Mack will be at my feet demanding to put down for a nap. No movie or show will cure his pain.

I have been mentioning the little science museum in Spring Branch now for quite some time. It's been around so long, my parents even took school field trips there. And, I always loved to go. I would make my Mom take me on the weekends. So, you know me. Squeeze as much into an outing as I can for fun's (fuck's) sake. After the morning garage sale rush, I corraled the seven of us to head over there. Keith was not sure what kind of adventure he was in for and he thought I may have made the whole museum idea up in my "not so accurate" memory. Lisa got a big kick out of the trip down memory lane. As did I. It was pretty much just as I remembered and really enjoyed sharing that with my boys. I think they'll appreciate it more in a couple of years, but I think we'll have to do a lot more explaining. We came to the conclusion that this was a much better option than the zoo because it's in the A/C, you get to be a lot closer to the animals and it's free. Too bad all the animals are were shot dead and stuffed.

Future Field-tripper

I could be wrong, but I dont' think the taxidermist really caught the essence of this fox.

Things got a little hairy at this exhibit. The boys asked why the tiger was biting the deer. Lisa and I told them that's what they eat...just like we eat meat. Lisa saw this taking an ugly turn, so she started in with, "tigers are carnivores, honey. And...carnivores eat meat in order to survive..." The boys in unison let out a "awwwww" and then that's when Keith jumped in and said "They're playing." We said, "yeeaaah, they're playing". Good one. Phew!

Kale with the big polar bear I had told him and Keith about.

Oh, look, a lion and an antelope having a grand ole time! They're best buds.

Notice the boys trying to deal with the horror of the alligator eating the fish. Poor fishie.