Balancing Act

Look at this kid. What is wrong with this picture? Reason #5233445 Mack cannot be trusted. He's a daredevil. A few other things he did today to make me pull my hair out...I mean, smile: pulled a half eaten banana out of the trash and started to eat it, pulled coffee grounds out and sprinkled them around the kitchen, dumped the dog water out for the 85th time, tried to eat the dog/cat food and rummaged through all my newly folded clothes. But, he's so gosh darn cute. Trouble.

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Sometimes when I'm here at home, I remove myself from the moment, and try to digest what I'm saying. I never imagined what being a parent would be like and it amazes me how much patience it takes each day to raise kids. I don't think I can go 5 minutes without saying one word everyday. These are random things I say on a constant basis:

1. Don't do that.
2. Please stop doing that.
3. How many times do I have to tell you to stop that?
4. Don't touch your booty, you'll get sick.
5. (To Mack) Don't hit your brother with the golf club, that's not nice.
6. Get off of there.
7. You're going to fall.
8. Are you okay?
9. Where does it hurt?
10. Take your shoe out of your mouth...that's dirty!
11. Sit down.
12. Sit still.
13. Scoot your chair back in.
14. You are not done with dinner.
15. Drink your milk.
16. Sit down.
17. No, standing in the high chair is not allowed (Mack!)
18. Do not spit your food out (Mack).
19. For godsakes, here's your damn bottle.
20. Do not head butt your father in the privates.

The list is endless. Two of my favorites: good morning and good night...it's a double edged sword.

Baby Fashion

Tom Cruise...ugh! But, Suri?, cutie pie. Remember when all the celebrity babies were photographed with Avent bottles? Okay, maybe you don't. I do. Avent was the shit. It was the Juicy Couture of milk drinkers.

Now, Suri's swanging Playtex. Oh yeah. I have four of them sitting right next to my sink that need washing...are you jealous???? I've never considered myself a fashion guru or trendsetter. I give partial credit to Mack. I introduced a bottle to Mack for supplemental feedings (when I wasn't readily available) and he hated our Avent inventory from Kale's bottle days. I tried several different bottles/nipples before settling with Playtex. I want to show him the all the pictures of Suri holding her Playtex bottle, but I don't think he'd appreciate it. Look, baby, you drink from Playtex bottles, too...just like the celebrity babies.

But, when Suri is all grown up, doing lines of coke, landing naked roles in major motion pictures and my son buys tickets to go see her milk machines...I'll be sure to tell him that they have something in common. And, I'm sure he'll tell all his friends...that his mother is a weird-o.

Head over heels

I came across a book dedication and it moved me to tears. It's simple, but unique. It is the sort of thing I wish I had written, but I didn't. So, the fourth best thing to do is copy and paste it here. Everyday I find myself falling more and more in love with my boys. I can't help it and I know I'm not the only one. Sigh.

Thank you for choosing me to mother you. Thank you for sneaking in through my window and saying "Boo! Here I am!" Thank you for stirring and purring and screaming and crying and laughing and talking and standing and jumping. You are my exclamation point in a world of dot-dot-dots. You are my star in a sky muted by city lights. You are my sun. My son. My sun.
-Rebecca Woolf, "Rockabye: From Wild to Child"

A Lazy Sunday

Our morning was slow, all we did was...
3 diaper changes
2 change of clothes
3 bowls of cereal
1 bottle and baby food
a slew of Cheerios
clean kitchen
wash dishes and bottles
shredding of mail
watched Vh1, Classical Baby, Little Bill, Little Einsteins, Oswald and Little People dvd...none of them in their entirety
cleaned litter pan
blew up inflatable gym for shredded paper fun
and when it was all done...the time was 9:01 a.m.

It is now 10:08 a.m. and the littlest one is down for a nap and we can take a break, the three of us. It's tough having a gangsta baby. You ate a lot, you ate a lot, don't choo even worry...

Thirtysomething

I was invited out by the wife of Keith's co-worker this past week. A girls night out at a local bar on Karaoke night. I thought about it, talked to Keith about it and decided to go. I'm glad that I did, because she and her friends were cool and we had a great time. But, I can't say it didn't feel oddly strange. Everything changes with age and I quickly realized why I don't do those things that often. I didn't get trashed, but I did stay out late talking and laughing and my kids show no mercy in the morning. One of the girls asked me if I had to go into work the next morning. I told her "yup, my job starts at 6:45 a.m. and doesn't end until 8:30 p.m.". She said she'd told her boss that she would be in after lunch...if only I could.

I don't have to get dressed up for my job, put on make-up or commute. I don't get vacation days, lunch breaks or money in exchange for my hard work. My compensation comes in a different form. There's no right way or wrong way for any woman. I know stay at home moms don't know how the working mom can do it all, but she does. And there are working moms who don't know how stay at home moms can do it all, but they do. I just feel lucky to have a family that draws me in and makes my life home.

The Great Debater

Everything is up for debate according to Kale. As his vocabulary flourishes, so does his ability to reason and question all authority. Since turning 3 he has a new lease on life and it's to make us repeat ourselves a gazillion times. Oy vey. We can't help but laugh, but sometimes the shit isn't funny. Especially when it's that time of the month. And, he's telling me over and over again why he doesn't have to _________ (fill in the blank). It's so cute, because he doesn't put up a huge fight, but just enough to prove that 'hey, if I really wanted to, I could so not do what you're asking, but I'M choosing to cooperate.' His new found personality has it's plus' too. Like he says bless you whenever anyone sneezes, he says I love you often, he tells me whatever Mack needs, he likes to request the 'cold' side of the pillow, he asks me 'what's the matter?' with genuine concern and he reminds what the hell I did with Mack's teddy when it's time for his nap. Oh, yeah, I did put it in the dryer when Mack dunked him in the dog's water bowl for the 756th time. Man, you're good kid.

We just busted out the separate pajama pieces (instead of the footsie ones) for Mack that were once Kale's. And I keep trying to envision what it was like when Kale was that little and sleeping in his crib. It seems like we had so much time with Kale. It was quiet and peaceful. Now, it seems like a whirlwind of crazy with both boys screaming and chasing each other. Poor Mack, he's grown up so fast. And he's such a little stick of dynamite. I can't imagine what he'll be like at Kale's age. We'll need a bigger house, so when Mack decides to disown us, we can stay in separate quarters. Can you say d-r-a-m-a-t-i-c?

Random thoughts

We left the house at 8:15 this morning to go to McDonald's for some coffee. Yes, all four of us for a journey less than 2 miles round trip. I can't explain it. We were pretending it was Saturday morning again just for fun. As we rolled outta the driveway things were eerily quiet and still. We were all alone.

Me to Keith "Wouldn't it be weird if nobody was around because they were all dead and
had turned into zombies trying to eat our brains?" slowly turning head left to right on the lookout.


Keith "It could probably happen because we don't watch the news, wanna get the mail?"

Gah!, and what if a zombie came up and killed me right then and there?! has he no heart?! Once we got to McDonald's they were packed and it was business as usual. Bah. Another boring Monday. But, now added to the grocery list are...guns...lots of them. Because should the end of the world occur and we are so fortunate to be the chosen ones we're gonna need to blow shit up. I can't wait.

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We went to a disco party for kids at Rich's downtown on Saturday with the Markers. The boys had a good time, we think. After an hour they were done with the dancing scene and just wanted to wrangle a huge fake snake. Go figure. I'm just thankful Jaime didn't give birth on the floor of the nightclub. I don't think there's enough Purell in the world. *I'll post some video footage soon. And, then we were off to our niece's 3rd birthday party where all the cousins played and chased each other around. The day wrapped up with cake and cotton candy. If Kale had a blog his post would've read more days like this, puhleeze.