Calm, Cool, and Collected

I've got time to post! Whoa! Yea! So, let's see...

We voted this morning and it was sweet relief. It was almost as if we'd been working on a long assignment and finally got to turn it in for a grade. We are totally getting drunk tonight! lol. You have until Oct. 31 to vote early. I never posted anything about Sarah Palin and well, I assumed it was McCain's way of throwing in the towel b/c hell, what'd he have to lose? It gave his campaign the boost it needed. Palin supporters were so proud to have someone ruffling the Democrats feathers. Uh, yeah, people were getting worked up because the woman was a complete idiot. Her nomination was laughable, but I couldn't believe how many folks drank that kool-aid. I bought a bumper sticker that read "Sarah Palin: because John McCain thinks you're an idiot". I never put it on my car because I value my paint job, this is a red state folks. Frankly, I think the Vice President (potential President) should be smarter than the majority of America, but who cares what I think. At least the rest of America has a brain, Texas. All of that "I'm just a regular gal, not a politician" bullshit...go sell crazy somewhere else biatch, we're all stocked up here! Tina Fey was a god-send. I hope this is the last we'll ever see of Sarah Palin, but something tells me we won't be so lucky.

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We recently spent the anniversary of my Grandfather's passing fishing in Port Lavaca. My Grandfather often brought us out there for fishing expeditions. They are great memories. We all miss him dearly, but as time passes, the tears don't fall as quickly as they use to. Of course, I cry. I cry hard hunched over from the hole in my heart. Asking for anything back. Anytime. I'll even take the visits in the hospital to relive. Even knowing the outcome, I'll start all over again just to be there with him to hold his hands and pray for help and to talk to him. I am thankful everyday that Kale and I spoke to him that day. I can't say I've found my way to complete healing, but I know if I continue to do the work, I'll get closer and closer. I'm still deciphering the how's and why's and trying to build a new working faith.

We went to the library (a different library than our usual one b/c it sustained damage from the hurricane and has yet to re-open) one evening last week. And, after we picked out some new reading material for Kale, I went to the other side to look for myself. I often check the new arrivals. Since it was the week leading up to the anniversary, I was kind of in a funk and dealing with all those raw feelings again. Sitting on the shelf was a small book called "Stories from the Edge- A Theology of Grief". I'm only half way through it right now, but it really is clarifying some things for me and has turned into be exactly what I needed. Someone put that book there for me right there, right then. When I woke up Sunday morning, I laid in bed thinking about what I wanted to say at the cemetery. I thought of the a verse my Grandfather always said, but couldn't remember how it went. We got packed up and headed out to Victoria. On the way there, I read a couple of more chapters. And, within my reading, was the exact passage I was trying to remember earlier that day

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven

and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything

you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.

Matt. 18:18-20

When I found it, I immediately cried because I felt close to my Grandfather. I felt a sense of peace about where my Grandfather went. He always reiterated this sense of calmness to me and it came across in that passage as soon as I read it. I could write more and more of his love for the Lord, but I'm certain he is with his ultimate creator and I wouldn't wish anything less for him.